** I find interesting that both Ted and Michael had a "defensive position" - no it's not neceseraly "right" on one hand and a mathematical explanation on the other. Even with all these "preventions" I still have many doubts about the wording of this "principle" - especially when it is used as a general law of the world (or of Spirit). I wonder if, as Fremy reported, the Haitians don't have it right in the first place. "Whatever happens is what happens". Full stop. No need for further explanations or justifications. If have tried a similar thing and it worked ok. Try it next time, Fremy, and let me know the results... ArturSilva
Participants: FremyCesar (Haiti), JohnEngle (Haiti), SheilaIsakson (USA), HannahHimanPessah? (Israel), JessieHsian? (Taiwan), ThomasFBerger? (Germany), GailWest? (Taiwan), AgnetaSetterwall (Sweden), PeggyHolman (USA), GabrieleBurkhardt? (Germany), MichaelPannwitz? (Germany), MikkSarv (Estonia).
Summary of the meeting:
The topic originated from the likeness of the words happen and happy.
Sheila (USA) mentioned the impact of assumptions to happiness. One tends to hold on to what one is assuming.
John (Haiti) raised the point: could one become happy when violence happens? Violence is a sign that someone is holding firmly to their assumptions and aren’t capable of letting go.
Agneta (Sweden) turned us to discuss disappointment. One should compost one’s disappointments until it is processed to become happy soil for new hope. It’s griefwork.
Fremy (Haiti) refered to four principles, which help to decide how to guide oneself and how to handle the disappointment. He also mentioned the slogan in Haiti: Jan li pase li pase, JPP – whatever happens is what happens. It is usually said about street demonstrations and violence in Haiti and one has to be careful when presenting the principle “whatever happens is the right thing.”
Mikk (Estonia): how to learn to cope with situations like this? Are there some good practices of how to process disappointment?
Gail (Taiwan): happiness is a high state, with celebrations and balloons. What we are here talking about is not about happiness, it is how to get to zero state, to peace, to balance.
Peggy (USA): expectations, when they are not fulfilled, create irritation.
Fremy: sometimes I am disappointed with my own disappointment. Expectations are too high. You have to realize that there are very different realities, you should train to develop a flexible spirit inside; other people's reality isn’t necessarily like yours.
Thomas (Germany): The steps between happen and happiness could be understanding, accepting, agreeing, finding peace with the situation.
Peggy: happening is more about doing, happiness is a state of being. Happiness is related to hope, happening to expectations. Hope is like breathing, aspiration and inspiration.
Mikk: in the Estonian language expectation and hope are the same word, lootus, which is related to the similar words for story and creation in our langugage. Both hope and expectation are sources for new stories, which shape and create new realities.
Gail: the sources of unhappiness after facilitating OS could be embarrassment, anger, vulnerability, fear. Unhappiness has a lot to do with one's vulnerability. In Taiwan we say: one looses face.
Agneta: Peace negotiator from Sweden, Mr. Hans Blix said: "The noble art of loosing face will one day save the human race."
Hannah (Israel): My way to be prepared for disappointment before facilitating OS is to share the responsibility, not to feel responsible for the outcome, to discuss beforehand with the sponsors, to share the fears, to work with the worse possible scenarios. It creates multiple stories to be prepared for whatever comes out. Be responsible to a group, not for a group.
The topic will be discussed further in the Practice of Peace meeting, November 2003 in Seattle.